CLUTTERED MIND
I want to pound my head in the keyboard of my laptop for maybe a good hundred of times, hoping that something, or anything, might enter my maddeningly cluttered yet blank mind (See, that doesn't even make sense at all! But that's how I will describe my state of mind right now) so that I could finish my chapter or better yet, continue editing my book!
I don't even know how to start explaning what's on my mind and that is also frustrating.
So
I made this post in order for me to try and sort out what's happening
so that I can figure out how to overcome this annoying writer's block.
Things on my mind:
1. I need to get a job. ASAP.
Okay, so this has its own story but let me tell a little background
about this one so that you'll understand why this contributes to my
state of mind. I graduated a year ago with a degree in Nursing. Passing
the Nursing Board Exam followed suit right after. Since then? I never
had a job related to my course. When I finally had a job, it is in
customer services. Now, that too has its own story that is equally
frustrating but that would be for another time. After four months I quit
the job and hadn't had anything else right until this moment where I am
sitting in front of my laptop, fighting the urge to hurl the laptop
across the room and never touch it again.
I
am hoping I could find a job as a nurse, because that's what I studied
for freaking four years. But then it is not easy (who the hell says
otherwise?) and I am not in the position where I have all the time to
patiently wait for my opportunity, and doing it jobless. Not me. So I
have to find a job ASAP, and here in my country, which is Philippines,
BPO is a booming industry which makes it the easiest target for
job-seekers like me. Meaning, once again, I have to go back to freaking
customer service.
I
have been researching for job opportunities in BPO industry so that I
could start my job hunting (means, going around the city, attending
interviews). It seems that this thought occupies a large part of my
brain.
2. I have to continue editing If We're A Fairytale.
This is the hardest feat. I gave myself a due date to get the book
ready for self-publication. But I am nowhere half-way through the
story!
I
know what I need to do but everytime I look at the blinking cursor at
the word file, the words are taunting me and that picture is basically
what I look like. I have sent the first few parts of the novel to my
editors and they are taking their time as well. I don't have any issue
with that, I have a problem with myself.
3. If I can't edit, then at least I need to work on my other novels!
I know how frustrating it is as a reader to wait months just for a
chapter update. And I haven't updated any of my ongoing novels for four freaking months! I will be mad at myself too.
I
am really sorry guys (for those who read my unfinished novels). I
swear, I am trying my best to write. Me, sititng in front of my laptop
for more than six hours, trying to conjur the Gods of writing, is the
proof.
Don't worry I will never give up and hopefully will send out a chapter on your way!
4. It's so hot in the Philippines! Why does it feel like the Sun is just above our roof? Seriously. I will be collapsing due to heat stroke any minute now.
5. Jensen Ackles is life.
I mean it, can't you see that? (Look at the photo above). He is just
perfect. The love of my life. (Shush, don't tell my boyfriend that.)
6. I hadn't gone anywhere for Summer.
Now, how lame is that? In my defense, it's not actually by choice.
There are reasons... okay, maybe it's my choice. Oh well, it's so hot
outside anyway.
7. GIFs are so cute. If it's not obvious yet how much I like GIFs then...
8. Oh my God! The chicken is burning! Because
I am our house's designated cook and it's already six PM... you guessed
it right! I am currently cooking as I list down the things that are
occupying my little brain. And you guessed it right again, we are going
to have charcoaled chicken (fried chicken). Sounds yummy. I might make a blog post how to cook charcoaled chicken if you guys like. It's pretty simple.
9. Is Doc McStuffin's name really just 'Doc'? Disney
has weird way to name their characters. And because Disney Junior is up
24/7 (or our waking hours) in our television, that also makes my head
ache. That poor girl was never called anything else other than Doc. I
like their songs though.
10. I miss my hunniebunch. Boohoo.
11. I should really end this because it's not making sense anymore after about number 3. And if you guys reached this point, wow, you're my hero!
I love you all!
Now, enough of wasting my time with my ramblings and start TRYING to write again.
Ciao!
Carmela, xx
